It is inevitable that the “spark” in a long-term relationship will fade over time as what was fresh and exciting in a new love turns mundane and even tiring to some. Fret not, here are 10 simple ways to keep that spark lit and alive in the bedroom.
We’ve been taught to desire the act of falling in love rather than the act of keeping the love. However, the “spark” isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Someone who makes you feel serene, rather than butterflies, is intrinsically soothing, and pigging out on the sofa and binge-watching true-crime shows instead of going out on a formal first date dinner is far more delightful. It is necessary to maintain a small level of spark to prevent a lifelong relationship from deteriorating into a friendship. It does not matter where you are on the scale of 50 Shades of Grey to an old couple; here are ten little things you can do in the bedroom to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
1. Keep Your Clothes On
According to Dr. Juliana Morris, a relationship expert, getting naked may bring out your sexual side; however, Dr. Juliana Morris recommends leaving something on—from a strong pair of heels to a beautiful string of pearls—instead of getting almost naked. Men love going commando, so just unzip your jeans and let your man do the rest.
2. Try New Positions
Alexandra Fine, a sexologist and the founder and CEO of Dame Products, says, “A new position isn’t always comfortable, but often you’re defying circumstances…and sometimes gravity!”. Try standing up; you’ll be able to touch places you wouldn’t normally be too. So keep trying new positions; it’s an adventure on its own.
3. Don't Skip The Foreplay
You may not know it, but sex can become robotic, especially in long-term relationships. It’s easy to lose sight of the simple things that your partner enjoys. As we grow older, foreplay becomes even more important since our sexual response cycle slows down. More simulation is required to get the same level of physical response as you did when you were younger. So don’t skip it; otherwise, you will miss a lot.
4. Kiss More
Couples who have been together for a long time often forget how personal and thrilling a kiss can be. The nerves in the neck, collarbone, and shoulders produce greater emotions of pleasure.
Don’t let your children make you an old mama. Make out with your partner the way you used to and watch the sexual spark ignite.
5. Switch Off Your Phone
Okay, so this one may sound a little cliched. We know you’ve been told to put your phone away at the dinner table since you were a pre-teen — you’ve heard it enough from your mother, and you certainly don’t need to hear it from us. But when it comes to private moments in the bedroom, cell phones are the ultimate destroyers. Make sure you are only focusing on your partner because that’s what intimacy is all about.
6. Make Eye Contact
Simple moments of love such as eye contact may be just as romantic as big ones, and they don’t have to be public shows of devotion. Studies have shown that maintaining eye contact with a partner increases oxytocin levels and promotes neuronal synchronization in the brain. Your brain feels more linked to another person through eye contact in words that don’t come out of a chemical textbook. And when you add this technique in your private moments with your partner, it just adds to the fun and joy.
7. Keep Talking To Your Partner
How many romantic comedy movies have you watched? If you have watched, you would know how talking while doing sex keeps the spark alive. So just try this out when you have sex the next time; make sure you talk enough to your partner. Yes, we know you need to focus, but only focusing on sex and zipping your lips makes it robotic and less entertaining.
8. Laugh Together
Laughter has long been the most effective method of keeping the spark alive aside from being a natural remedy for many ailments. “Someday, we’ll laugh about this,” that’s what you think when you recall a fight or an incident from your past. What’s the point of waiting till someday? Why not be happy now?
Watch something you know will make you laugh and help you develop inside jokes, just as much as you care about creating trust in the relationship. Bring up humorous memories, and share them as you enjoy some private moments with your partner.
9. Slow Down
Don’t rush sex. It may seem trivial, but it makes a significant difference when you’re having sex. Slowing down allows couples to concentrate more on touch and movement, resulting in a more intimate connection between them.
10. Do Something You Both Enjoy
Don’t try to force your partner on anything he/she is not interested in. Whatever happens in the bedroom must be with the consent of both. Only then would you be able to spark the bedroom. Ask your partner if he/she is interested in a specific activity, and if the answer is no, there is no shame in it; give some time and when you are both ready, drive together with full passion.